Funny facebook friends

I thought it was time to lighten up the mood a little bit so I stole this idea from my favorite blogger: Single Dad Laughing. I stole posts from several of my facebook friends and decided to share them all with you. This also saves me from having to think a whole lot. I'm also in a pretty good mood tonight and my writing just isn't very entertaining when I'm not angry at the world. Kinda like when Alanis Morrisette fell in love and started writing happy songs instead of man hater songs. She just got so boring! Enough of my rants. I hope these facebook stats make you smile as much as they made me smile. Thanks to everyone who gave me a good laugh. Enjoy!

St. Patricks day is celebrated by white people because the Polynesians swam to the Americas and the white ppl feared them and the Polys said no we just want something to eat and the white ppl introduced them to macaroni salad and the polys picked out the celery because it's disgusting and that's the reason for the season.

Justin (from the other room): "Josh can you turn the music down?" Josh: (turns the music down) "Is that ok?" Justin: "Yes" Josh: (Keeps singing) Justin: "Josh, now turn yourself down." ...... I guess Justin doesn't like my love for music, or my singing.... one or the other.

Oh Thin Mints... how do I quit you...

We need a good way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings, like.... "Well I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth!"

You should know, when someone pisses you off, it only takes 48 muscles to fown but only two to pull a trigger.

Superbowl? Nah, I'd rather clean a toilet... Gotta love how I'm spending my Friday!

If you were an emo kid and you were at the pizza place and your favorite song came on with no razor in sight could you slit your wrists with a pizza cutter. You know, in a pinch.

Support Bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.

AAAARRRRGGGGG POOP EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so done with this.

Yeah I think that since 2012 is coming fast you should get rid of all your worldly possessions... and I will watch over them till the apocalypse.

We're @ the grocery store waiting for some people to move and let us by and they start speaking spanish. Tyler yells, "Move it! Vominos!"

To men who say "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" 80% of women wont marry you because "It's not worth buying the PIG to get a little sausage!"